It’s the sight no one wants to come home to. An unexpected moving truck in the (good) neighbor’s driveway.
Nooooo!! We really liked them!
It happened a few weeks back. They were nice. Rather quiet. Predictable. Seemed to like us. And then the moving truck showed up. I hoped it was for some other neighbor. But, I knew. It was them. They were goners.
After my first bit of sadness and disappointment, I had a realization. Oh wait. We are leaving soon, too.
This wasn’t our final stop, either.
Their time here was done. They were on to their ‘next.’ Soon, we would be, too.
Leaving is going to involve a lot of planning. A lot of packing. A lot of goodbye’ing. A lot of driving.
The biggest hurdle of my departure prep has been acknowledging it’s happening. I’ve been living in a state of denial since January.
But, I’ve found purpose here. I’ve familiared. I’ve identified. Admittedly, I ended up hoarding a bit (so, how in the world will it fit back in the car?!). I’ve simplified. I’ve invested. I’ve struggled to sojourn, to believe I was just passing through. I’ve even learned how to borrow.
But, now it’s time to go.
Though our return date was determined from the start, it feels way too soon.
Much has happened to make #notmyhome feel like home.
Departures are hard.
Departure schedules are even harder. Uncertain timing. Unexpectedly-early departures. Departures not going as planned.
Adds insult to injury.
At the moment, it’s hard to admit, but Orlando is not my home. Maybe someday it will be (that’s denial-me talking).
Similarly, there are moments when it’s hard to admit this world is not my home. I’ve purposed, familiared, identified, hoarded, simplified, borrowed and invested. Thinking about (the undetermined) end of my life, I struggle to admit I’m just sojourning, passing through.
It’s during these times that I cling to what I know to be true. I recently heard it said:
Emotions are like children: you can’t stuff them in the trunk,
but you certainly don’t want to let them drive the car.
If emotions were allowed to drive, I wouldn’t leave Orlando. And I wouldn’t ever leave this world. I’d stay put.
In both cases, I’d miss out on what God has for me.
Departures are the worst. It’s hard to look at what I have and imagine the future could be better. It’s hard to loosen my grip on now and keep my hands open to ‘next.’
So, I cling to what I know. This world is #notmyhome.
The permanent home & the enduring city has been promised to not disappoint, promised by the God who does not disappoint. It’s an eternity with Him and without pain.
And the only thing I will have to say goodbye to is goodbyes.
Part 1: Passing Through
Part 2: Homesicking
Part 3: Purposing
Part 4: Familiaring
Part 5: Identifying
Part 6: Hoarding
Part 7: Simplifying
Part 8: Investing
Part 9: Sojourning
Part 10: Borrowing
[This post is #11 in the #notmyhome series]
Part 12: Reflecting