Homesicking at #NotMyHome [part 2]

I expected it. When we pulled out of Kalamazoo, we were (temporarily) goodbye’ing some of the best friends anyone could ask for. We knew we would miss the people.

What’s unsettling about it all? The second homesickness trigger – food.

I mean, really?!? And even more unsettling – the kind of food.

It took months to find a go-to #fastfood spot for when we’re rushing from one thing to another without time for a meal.
Probably a healthy loss.  

When my kids begged for Noodles & Co., I discovered there wasn’t one.
Another healthy loss.

No Applebees nearby? Where do families eat??

Jimmy Johns doesn’t deliver to our apartment? Take me home NOW!!

It’s comical, really. My greasy chain restaurants changed and even that threw me for a loop.

I missed my friends and I missed my (ashamedly unhealthy) food. I missed my favorite store, oddly absent from the Orlando scene. I missed knowing where to get the inside scoop when I was clueless. I missed the predictability that comes with living somewhere for a decade. I missed my kids’ schools, their teachers, their parks, their teams, their babysitters. I missed our doctors and my hair stylist. I missed my coffee shops, my grocery stores, my brands, my radio stations, my neighborhood, my side streets, my short cuts.

In so many ways, I longed for home.

Sounds familiar.

For this world is not our permanent home;

we are looking forward to a home yet to come.

Hebrews 13:14

I know it to be true. But, do I long for a Home yet to come?

In theory.

But in reality, I appear to long for more of this world:

better stuff,
more waking hours,
better food,
more accomplishments,
better feedback,
more money,
better experiences,
more approval,
better opportunities,
more pleasure,
better image,
more fun.

It’s good (even fun!) to live in the moment. To be present. It’s normal to want what’s within reach.

“The City Beautiful” is full of people, places and memories. I’ve grown to love it. I want the mores and betters of Orlando.

This world, made beautiful by the hands of a Creator is full of people, places and memories – I’ve grown to love it, too. I want more and better.

But the mores and betters of the world won’t satisfy. This world can’t give me enough and best. In all of its brokenness, evil, scarcity and suffering, it comes up short. In my own brokenness, pain, insufficiency, limitedness, loneliness, lacking, sadness, exhaustion, insecurity and circumstances, I come up longing. For mores and betters that are found in a Home yet to come.

I’ll admit, some days, it’s hard for me to picture Kalamazoo. Not in the Google Earth way. In the “I want to be there” way. Not because I don’t love my friends (or my food). Homesickness comes and goes. I’ve learned how to live away from “home,”and at times, it’s good, smooth, satisfying, even familiar. The picture of home fades a bit. 

I’ll admit, some days, it’s hard for me to picture Heaven in the “I want to be there” way. Homesickness comes and goes. I’ve learned how to live in this world, and at times, it’s good, smooth, satisfying, familiar. The picture of Home fades a bit.

Some days, I’m homesick. Some days, I’m not.

Some days, it takes pain & dissatisfaction to remind me that this world is #notmyhome and I am awaiting a home yet to come.

Some days, it just takes an undeliverable “Beach Club #12, hold the mayo.”

Part 1: Passing Through
[This post is #2 in the #notmyhome series]
Part 3: Purposing
Part 4: Familiaring
Part 5: Identifying
Part 6: Hoarding
Part 7: Simplifying
Part 8: Investing
Part 9: Sojourning
Part 10: Borrowing
Part 11: Departing
Part 12: Reflecting

9 thoughts on “Homesicking at #NotMyHome [part 2]

  1. “The picture of Home fades a bit.” Wonderfully wise words. We’re so focused on here and now and want and perceived need that Home–a better Home–doesn’t often cross my mind. Thanks for this, Ames. And what the bun is a Beach Club #12?

    1. 🙂 Beach Club #12: turkey, cheese, lettuce, cucumber and avacado spread… sandwich perfection.

  2. Sounds like what I will experience as we make a major move this month. I, too, need to remember this world is not my home and as I pass through none of it will ever truly satisfy…so why seek it here!

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