A Donut Offense

Summer 2000. Enter me, a rising university junior who’d landed an internship as a software engineer. In my department, I was the only of my gender and the youngest by a decade.

I’d learned during my first days on the job of something called a Donut Offense–anything in life deemed celebration-worth by coworkers: a new house, marriage, a new baby, birthday, new job. An extensive manual (the “Donut Handbook,” aka a 20-page binder) detailed the various offenses that warranted bringing in donuts for the team and various related regulations.

My summer goal was to fly under the radar and escape back to college with a resume box checked. Surely, I’d commit no donut offenses.

Except I did.

Six weeks into summer, I started dating my now husband. Distanced by two hours, we’d been emailing during the day (breaking the internet–a story for another day) and talking on the phone at night. He’d heard me mention the handbook and conditions of a donut offense. I assured him that in a crowd of men ages 35–65, not one would be concerned about the social life of the intern. He agreed.

Except he didn’t.

He took the day off work. Drove 120 miles to my office. Bought a department’s worth of donuts. And threw a surprise “donut offense” party in our relationship’s honor, with all my coworkers.

Denny, Scott, Keith, and eight others whose names I’ve long since forgotten gave me the third degree about why I’d avoided following the Donut Handbook and sharing such important news with them all.

In one swoop, my new sweetheart had surprised me, impressed me, pranked me, romanced me, embarrassed me, and made me laugh (solid foreshadowing of our future).

In the past 21 years, I’ve committed many donut offenses. And this latest one, I’d like to share with you. My donuts are all virtual this time, so I hope you’ll BYOD to this party.

Lift your donut high . . .

I’m thrilled to share that I’m now represented by Keely Boeving at WordServe Literary. I can’t wait to share about my journey as it unfolds and will soon share about the journey that brought me here.

Donut Offense!

For now, enjoy a donut, and while you’re here, please share your favorite in the comment! My favorite is a s’mores donut from Sweetwater’s Donut Mill.

48 thoughts on “A Donut Offense

  1. Yay! Yay! Yay! What fabulous news! Now I want a donut…

    1. Thank you, Melisa!!! (and sorry about that–I think you should follow that craving though!)

  2. Congratulations, Amy! A well-deserved donut!

  3. AMY!!!!!!!!!! I’m sooooo happy for you!!! No one deserves it more than you! Congratulations and you should eat a dozen donuts in celebration!!
    Love, Becky! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    1. You’re so sweet, Becky! I’m grateful for your encouragement and congratulations (and critiques!) love you!

  4. I love this news!! Congratulations! I can’t wait to buy your debut! Enjoy *all* the donuts! (My favorite is an apple fritter.?)

  5. Hooray for you, Amy! I have loved following your journey as a writer (and as a professional, and as a friend, and as a human). Keep your stories coming!

  6. Congratulations! Raising a donut to a fun journey ahead!

    My favorite donut was the Le Ding from Donut Petite in Alameda. They changed their recipe recently, however, so I’m going to give top spot to their (chef-kiss) perfect Crème Brûlée donut.

    1. Thank you, Jerrold! Wow, a Crème Brûlée donut sounds yummy, and I don’t know what a Le Ding donut is, but I bet it’s delicious!

  7. My favorite donut is a jelly stick from Dunkin’ Donuts.

  8. My favorite is a jelly stick from Dunkin Donuts.

  9. Yay!!! Fantastic news, Amy! Well deserved ?

  10. Wuhoo!! Congrats! Well-deserved.

  11. Congratulations, Amy!! This is wonderful news! I love the story about the donut offenses. And your donut picture is absolutely adorable!

  12. Congratulations! What wonderful news!! Here in Southern California, we’re crazy about Krispy Kreme donuts. Do you get those in your area? Wishing you the best donut ever and a great author journey ahead!

    1. Thank you, Armineh! I appreciate you taking the time to read and celebrate! And yes, we do have Krispy Kreme relatively nearby, but the closest is an hour away. I don’t know that I’ve ever had one, but I’ve certainly heard they’re worth the hype!! I will have to try one! Do you have a favorite?

  13. Congratulations! That’s wonderful news!! Here in Southern California, we’re crazy about Krispy Kreme donuts. Do you get those in your area? Wishing you the best donut ever and a great author journey ahead!

  14. Congratulations! I loved your personal story! I can no longer enjoy donuts, but I’ll munch on a carrot to celebrate your success!

    1. Awww I’m sorry you can’t enjoy donuts, but carrots are delicious too!!

  15. So thrilled for you to take this leap and begin a journey that you’re so well suited for! Congratulations, my friend.

    1. Thank you, Jean! (sorry, I thought I’d responded to this comment but apparently I hadn’t!!)

  16. Hooray!! Raising a doughnut and cheering for this exciting moment!!

  17. Congratulations Amy. Great story and very enjoyable. My favorite donut is a Boston Cream from Dunkin Donuts followed by all the rest.

    1. Awww, thanks Christine! And yum!! Ha! Yes, followed by all the rest as well.

  18. Congratulations to you, Amy!! A donut think I could be happier for you 😉
    My favorites are chocolate glaze, honey cruller and Boston crème * equally*!

  19. Congrats!!! So exciting!!!

      1. BTW, did you take one bite of each of those donuts, then throw them in the trash??? ?

    1. Ha! What a thought! No, I shared them with the family, but now I wish I’d done that LOL

  20. Wonderful news!

  21. Congratulations!!

  22. Congratulations, Amy! This is wonderfully donut-worthy news! And what a sweet husband 🙂

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